how can i be a nutritionist/dietitian when i have an ed

im 16 years old and i don’t know what i want to be when i grow up! it’s a scary thought. im only thinking of being a family doctor right now but med school is already creeping me out. i can say that im passionate about cooking and baking healthy food but i don’t want to be a chef. i’ve been counting calories since i was 13. so maybe being a nutritionist or dietitian is a good career for me.

but the down part for me right now is that im suffering from an eating disorder. im 5 feet tall and usuallly 96 pounds. i think im fat and i hate my weight. im always trying to lose weight, hence my counting calories. as for being healthy, i don’t think i am…at all. i have been skipping meals, starving myself, and binge eating since i was 14. i love food but eat it in big portions. i go to buffets a lot. after my binge there, i would starve for a few days. i would be bulimic and make myself throw up if i knew how. im always desperate to lose weight. that is why i specifically have a treadmill in my room to exercise and that is in addition to a gym membership. i have an image problem. i look at skinny people and get super jealous of them. i weigh myself several times daily too.

how can i be a nutritionist/dietitian if i act like this? a hypocrite. but i like helping others be healthy and telling them what or what not to eat. i don’t think mean things when i see an overweight person though. im always really positive about them and think they have potential to be healthy.

Hi JavaGirl. I will flag this post for CoachNova; she’s an expert on eating disorders. Please check back on Wednesday, when CoachNova is our featured expert, for her response.

Warmly,
Dr. Kathy

Hi Javagirl. How are you today? Thank you for sharing with us, I am proud of you for your honesty with your struggles. First, I want to emphasize that ED is not just about weight, it’s about control, judgment, and worth. I know that may be difficult to grasp when you are counting calories and exercising and focusing your thoughts on being thin. But here’s how ED works: It tricks you to think the thinner you are no one can criticize you. A diet to lose a few pounds can turn into becoming so thin, you literally disappear from judgment. Does that strike any meaning with you?

When you have moments of “I think I want to be a doctor, or a dietitian, or nutritionist…” That’s your strong inner voice speaking – telling you this is what I am worth, this is what I am capable of, this is where my dreams want to take me. My advice? Listen very carefully!

Separating your inner voice, your spirit, your true self away from the tricky voice of ED will help lift the restrictions you feel on pursuing your health. The tricks of ED will say…How can I do this? I can’t do that. I’m not worthy of that because I have ED. All tricks and lies. You can, and you will. It all starts with “externalizing” the voice of ED, and listening carefully to your true self, your inner voice.

So, where would you like to start today? What does your voice say? What are your dreams?

I believe in you.

With Care,

Life Coach Nova