Recent Posts in Eating Disorders & Weight Loss

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / am I bulimic...please help me

OK, so I don’t really know where to start.
Since I can remember I have been literally crazy obsessed with my weight, what people think of the way I look, clothes and food…I get that that’s always going to be a part of me.
I remember when I was 15 years old being at school and I passed out during a presentation because I hadn’t eaten all day, and that scared me so I kind of took control over my eating and it improved.
At 18 my boyfriend and I broke up, he cheated on me with a friend, I got kicked out of college and quit my job because the girl he cheated on me with worked where i worked, so I lost a lot and then I put on a stone, an weighed 10 stone, at 5 ft 5.
I joined a gym, got a new job working in an office and began to sort myself out, but I was so paranoid about my weight, so every day at work we would all go out for lunch, so I started going to the bathroom and making myself sick after lunch, then I got hold of laxatives, and obsessed over calories.
I then left that job because I hated it, and worked elsewhere where my calorie counting got worse as did my laxative use. My purging after lunch stopped as the bathroom was in the office so people would have found out.

I’m now 20, and I took two years out working to try and sort my head out, and have now gone back to school and am at university. my problem is though I spent the summer getting myself healthy, trying to stop my bad eating and it was difficult but I managed it quite well, now however all these feelings are coming back and I just want to B&P all the time, I have resisted the urge, and I have not purged (expect for a few times when I have been drunk) for about 9 months, so its like I have all the mental symptoms, but none of the physical as I am trying to be strong and now purge.

It’s taking over my life, I can’t talk to my friends or family because they have their own problems. please help me i literally do not know what else i can do

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / To be thin..

i know how you feel. everyday is a struggle when you don’t love yourself. i am going through the same exact thing. people would say i looked unhealthy and that i was too thin, but i didn’t care. i loved the way i looked and felt and i loved the confidence it gave me.

i truly don’t believe talking to anyone will help. people can say that you don’t need to lose the weight, that you’re beautiful the way you are, but there will always be that voice in the back of your head screaming at them, telling them to shut up. it never mattered what people said. at least not for me.

just learn to love yourself. it’s a lot harder than it seems, but i guess it’s possible

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Why cant i jsut be happy with my weight

Coach Yvonne,
Thanks so much for responding to me. Yes some days i do feel very overwhelmed, stress, and tired. Yes I do have Bipolar and unfortunatly I am not an any medication I cannot afford health insurance and we make too much for medicade, sad.. but yeah, i know this is alot of my issue. I really do feel like if I was 115 everything would be ok, and I do not know why i feel such pressure to be small, but I do. I haev always been inseure and it is really affecting my relationship. I dont know how to stop. I am a very emotional person and it does bother me that hes not waht so ever. we are complete opposits, and i struggle everyday with the feeling of acceptance for me how i am. I never know what he is thinking about me, and he never says i look good, or pretty or what not, so in return i scramble and fish for what he thinks of me and then he gets mad. I am a person that has to hear taht i am good enough, and that i am pretty, and all that . my body looks gross, from having kids, and my teeth are not straight, and i have a slight overbite. need braces but again cannot afford right now, but all of this and my own view of myself makes me feel unnatractive.

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Why cant i jsut be happy with my weight

How incredible that you are juggling so much at almost 22 years old! I would imagine that some days you must feel very overwhelmed. You mention that you are bipolar and I was wondering if you are on medication and is someone available for you to talk to?

I really understand that part about not feeling worthy or attractive and I think a lot of young women really fight with these feelings with all the media we have to see every day with perfectly airbrushed images that no one can live up to. Do you feel like everything would be OK if you were 115 pounds? I think you’ve done an incredible job getting to the size you are now and you are absolutely right, our body does figure out what we are doing and it makes it harder to lose but I think that if you figure out some ways to lessen your stress that you will have much better results.

You mentioned your fiance not being overly emotional. Does that bother you? I would imagine that you’d like some acknowledgement on how well you’ve done losing what you have and I’m wondering if you think he doesn’t notice? (guys can be really bad at that you know?) You even mentioned that you know you’re not overweight so tell me how you feel about his opinion.

I just want you to know I’ve been exactly where you are…I’m hear to listen so tell me more about why you think you still feel unattractive?

Love and Light,
Coach Yvonne

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Why cant i jsut be happy with my weight

Hello,
Im 21 almost 22, a mother if 2 and in college. I have a 2 1/2 yr old and a 1 yr old. I had them both by c section. As many know along with having kids comes streachmarks, weight gain, and with c sections much more. So here i am. I am 5’4 21yrs, and 136 pounds. I was weighing in at 158 about 2 months ago. I have reached a point where I am struggling to lsoe more, and I know im not over weight, but I still feel huge, and unattractive. Im now wearing a size 5/6 jean and was in a 12/14. I feel as though I need to be about 115 pounds. and a size 2/3. I am now scrambling to try diet pills, and random diets, i was eating a ver low calorie diet for a while and lost weight but my body got use to it, and so it stopped working. I really want to feel good at the soze i am but i am struggleing, not to mention I have bipolar, and i think this plays a role in it. I have never felt worthy or attractive, my fiancee has never told my i look pretty or what not, ( he was raised that way) and is not out there with emotions, or anything. He jsut says if i didnt think you were pretty i wouldnt be with you. i am jsut having a hard time and am so thankful to find this websiter bc i cannot afford to see a councler.

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Can my ED lead to other issues.

I have been having a headache for threee months, and i am in massage school part time which requires me to work at a massage clinic a couple days a week. This is the only time my headaches go away so i told my doctor this and he gave me blood tests and i get the results back soon. My anxiety has been so bad that when friends that went away to university come home to visit i make up excuses not to see them, if i have to go out my heart races and i cant go out. The only person im comfortable around is my boyfriend. I talked to my doctor and he gave me xanax and told me to only take it when i am going to a function or going out. Ive just been taking half of one pill when i need it because ive heard so many bad things about xanax and i dont ever wanna be a junky. But it really helps me.

On a side note things with my boyfriend are going great, i finally gave in and told him im bisexual. It was extremely hard because i didnt know how he was going to react, but he thinks its cute. Ive had this crush on a girl i work with for the longest time and my boyfriend knows. Im 19 and he is 20, we do see marriage in the future, but he wants me to explore the other side with girls before we get married. In fact he text the girl i really like and told her that i really really like her and that he just wants to see me happy. She said she thinks im really cute and that she likes me back. And i wanna tell someone but of course u cant even trust ur bestfriend and i dont know if im ok with ppl knowing that im bi. I wish i could be comfortable with it like the girl i really like is:(

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Need help to recover and need recovery buddy.

yes i could , I have had an eating disorder since 7th grade and im 18 now already went to methodist for treatment then later on went /switched to emily program for treatment where i am currently.And lately i dont eat much and if i do i feel like purging and overexcercising

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Need help to recover and need recovery buddy.

Dear LuvNY4ife
Could you start by getting to know us here and see if later someone wishes to take you up on your offer?

There are several great people here with similar issues and I’m sure they would love to help you.

Would you like to begin by telling us more about yourself and your struggles with the problems you’ve had.

Thanks
Coachjohn

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Can my ED lead to other issues.

Hi Lulu. I agree with Dr. Kathy about staying in the present and setting aside time to worry. I encourage you to try this approach.

I’m also concerned that your diet may be contributing to your feelings of restlessness at night. Are you getting enough nutrients and fluids during the day? Your caloric intake should never dip below 1500 cal … when you fall below that, your body starts taking from your healthy cells leaving you feeling depleted, and can contribute to feelings of anxiety and affect your concentration. You need fuel.

Make a goal to take care of yourself. You mentioned a couple of posts ago you wanted to be healthy … that’s a really good start. I also see you admire strength and determination. It’s wonderful you look up to your mom and have a supportive boyfriend.

I’d like you to write back with three goals you’d like to focus on for yourself. When you make a commitment, it cements your efforts.

I’d also like you to try using Relaxation Techniques at night. I think it will help, especially when you feel safe and comfortable in a spa setting.

Here’s a simple one to start with:

Relaxation – Relaxing the Mind, Body, and Spirit

20 Minutes to Peace

I teach my clients progressive muscle relaxation in combination with visualization techniques to release tension and stress, calm the mind, and rejuvenate the spirit. Learning relaxation techniques takes practice. In order to achieve deep relaxation, you will need to set aside time to practice these techniques every day for 20 minutes. Yes, you do have 20 minutes just for you! Before you begin, find a song that helps sooth you. Music helps to turn your focus inward, away from impeding thoughts, deadlines, or waiting duties. A few of my favorite songs you can find on iTunes are:

Healing of the Heart by John Grout
Morning Meditation by John Grout
The Magician by Kevin Kendle

Find a comfortable, peaceful place to lay down, or sit with your feet elevated. Tell yourself this is your time, your place of peace – for 20 minutes you will be calm and peaceful. Start at your forehead and focus on your muscles relaxing each group, moving to your eyes, your jaw, your shoulders, all the way to your toes one muscle group at a time. Feel your heartbeat get slower and slower as you breathe freely releasing all the tension.

Visualize the stress melting away, dripping from your finger tips, and pushing out your toes. Think of a calming color and surround yourself with this color. Imagine the temperature of the color. Is it warm or cool, dry or misty? Completely center yourself with thoughts of peace, hope, and safety. Drift there in your place of peace for 20 minutes. When you open your eyes you will feel rested and relaxed.

Once you practice and master relaxation techniques, you can add elements into your daily life to help keep you calm and productive. I almost always have my favorite list “Spirit and Soul” from iTunes playing while I work. Your body and mind have subconscious memory, so if you train yourself to respond in a relaxing way to stimuli, you can trigger that response with “reminders” like music, colors, or scents. This works so well in fact, if I am stuck writing something, or feeling a lack of energy while I work, I notice I forgot my music! I just have to turn my music on, and I am immediately centered and focused. – Something to shoot for with practice!

Give these techniques a try and see how they can help you feel better.

Peace,

Life Coach Nova

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Can my ED lead to other issues.

Hi Lulu. I am so glad you find peace when you are at work, that is very important. It sounds like when you’re at the massage clinic, you’re focusing on your clients and the work and that you’re not thinking about anything other than the moment, does this sound right?

If so, this might be an important strategy for you to try during the day. When you find your mind racing, you can tell yourself, “Ok, it’s true, I have a lot to do, but what do I need to focus on right now?”

You might also create a daily plan for yourself, where you schedule time for activities and schedule a little bit of worry time (about 20 minutes) in the evening. During the day, the goal is to focus on what you have scheduled and resist worrying until your worry time. During worry time, you can think about whatever you like…

What do you think?

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Can my ED lead to other issues.

Well my thoughts are of my boyfriend, then they will flash to what i need to get done for school, work etc, then about this girl i have a crush on at work, and then to food. All that happens in a time span of 30 seconds. They arent anything significant, just stupid random things that run through my head. When i wake up at night i am extremely startled, my heart races, i shake and try to calm myself enough to sleep, but i never can, and i end up tossing and turning all night.

When i am at piece i am in the local massage clinic doing my practical hours with candles, and peaceful music. I also feel fine when my boyfriend is with me. If he is laying beside me i sleep fine.

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Need help to recover and need recovery buddy.

Hi,
Im new here , and hope that by joining it ould bennifet me greatly , and I have been diganosed with an eating disorer EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified) andhad it since 7th grade . Been in two treatments , currently go to Emily Program for treatment and they are awesome at helping me alot and I also need extra support and recovery buddy who we can get through it together please pm me or email me at adancingqueen19@aol.com if you would like to do so , thanks .And I am strugglin with recovery and issues but I have been rarely eating and when i do i feel strong urges bad unhealthy urges to cut , etc…

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Can my ED lead to other issues.

Hi Lulu. Nice to hear back from you. :) Tell me more about this …

Where do your thoughts take you?

What statements run through your mind?

When you wake up at night are you startled?

When do you feel most a peace?

I’ll help you through this …

Warmly,

Nova

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Can my ED lead to other issues.

I think i have ADHD because i cant listen to a song for more than 30 seconds, i try to focus on homework and i start thinking about everything else going on, and ill get up to work out or something, instead of doing the homework. Homework that should take me 10 minutes takes me 2 hours and thats not an exaggeration. I also try to lay in my bed and concentrate on one or two thoughts and it either goes completely black or i think of a thousand things at once. I can’t sit still and i absolutly cant watch a movie. I get distracted so easily and will zone in and out of conversations, if i read something from a news paper or something, i dont remember what i had just read because i cant focus on what i am reading. I also dont sleep well at all. I fall asleep at nine or ten and i am up at one in the morning.

I just dont know what to do anymore :(

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Can my ED lead to other issues.

Hi Lulu. Great to hear from you. I know that Coach Nova will follow up with you, but between now and then, I wonder about your saying you think you might have ADHD…what makes you say so?

Warmly,
Dr. K

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Can my ED lead to other issues.

i tried to relax and go to a peaceful place, and i was in a meadow with a river, and birds, but i was only there for a second, then it went black because i just ate an enormous meal and it is painful to even move so i cant get comfortable. Plus i think i may have ADHD a little, its hard for me to sit still and concentrate on one thing. I might try again tommorow, im just so upset with myself today, i think im going to fast tommorow, im just happier and feel skinnier when im hungry. Its so stupid.

An update on me and my boyfriend: we are trying not to do anything physical because after sex i get so depressed and i cry, even if im the one who initiated it. I want it physically, and im fine throughout, but as soon as i “get there” i become so depressed afterwards. And i have no idea why. Its not him, i love him. It makes him feel terrible. We are just in a slump right now cuz a few days before christmas, my boss kissed me and i let it go a little too far, we didnt have sex, but he did get down my pants but i made him stop because i really really love my boyfriend. And he is having a hard time coping with it.

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Can my ED lead to other issues.

Hi Lulu, I’m so glad to hear back from you. The words, “I’m not good enough” I hear all too often from people. You are good enough. God created you just as you should be … perfect. It’s the negative tapes that have been imposed on you that weigh you down. Make a commitment to yourself to speak positively.

Try this exercise: Sit or lay down comfortably. Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a peaceful surrounding. What place do you imagine?

Breathe in and out deeply, relax all of your muscles, let all your worries drift away.

Focus on your spirit, your center, your energy. What do you see?

If your spirit could say one thing … what would it tell you?

Your spirit, your voice, will only say what’s “true” … what’s beautiful and amazing about you. You were born for greatness, for a purpose, to fully engage in life.

Can you imagine having a self-meaning that says, “I am worthy?”

Start with this, and let me know what surfaces. I’m here for you.

Warmly,

Nova

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Can my ED lead to other issues.

When i feel full, the words i think right away are fat,disgusting,hideous,unworthy,puke,ugly,rolls,depression.

When i look at those words i sound like a 13yr old little girl with self esteem issues. I feel like im not good enough for anyone. I feel like ill never amount to anything. I just hate myself.

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / To be thin..

Hi Musicincar. You are so welcome. I am happy help and be here to listen. It is very helpful to reach out and open up, a very good beginning, and an important step to finding peace.

Divorce is always difficult even under the best of circumstances. It’s normal to go through a “grieving” period. There is a sense of loss. It sounds like your mom needed to let out her feelings, and a good cry is one way. It sounds like you tend to care more about how others feel, you are empathetic and compassionate. Very wonderful qualities. I understand feeling helpless watching your mom in a state of suffering. One way to work through it is to just talk openly about it. Letting her know it’s okay for you to see how she is feeling, and it is okay for her to know how you feel as well. Sometimes it’s hard to come up with words to help someone feel better, especially when there’s nothing specifically you can do like after a death or ending to a relationship. I have found the most helpful thing is to have the person know you hear them and reassure them with each passing day it will get better, that sends them some hope.

The next thing I hear in your post is about judgment. Fear of others watching you eat, or what others think. Identifying that the problem is really fear, will help you push that feeling away.

Your statement about the voice “inside” of you that tells you that you need to lose weight, that you are not good enough — that’s not your voice!!
Your voice will only say wonderful, beautiful things about you. Your voice speaks from your spirit. Learning to separate your inner voice and the voice of ED (eating disorder) is an important step to conquering the issues surrounding eating disorders. It is not uncommon to define yourself physically as you are defining who you are on the inside. That’s a big part of why teens especially fall victim to ED. So the best way to guard yourself is to build from the inside out. Defining who you are, strengthening your spirit, and listening to your voice.

You are making some really good steps already. You are noticing that what you really wish for is self-acceptance and peace. Keep this picture of self-acceptance and peace close in your thoughts each day.

So, let’s work through this a step at a time. First, I’d like to know more about you:

What brings you the most joy?

Where to feel most at peace?

What do you like most about yourself?

What are three goals you hope to accomplish in your life?

I am looking forward to hearing back. :)

With Care,

Life Coach Nova

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / To be thin..

Hey LifeCoachNova, thank you so much for writing back. Well, I was at first a bit devastated from the divorce, but I knew I was sick of my parent’s fighting all the time. I guess if I was given a choice, I would stick to being a child with divorced parents than back to the one I used to be. It really was horrible for me though, because about a month ago I found my mom lying on the floor, crying. I only told my sister who is in college this, and I felt so bad because I couldn’t help my mom. She felt even worse because she didn’t want me to see her like that. I really don’t talk to anybody about all this, because I just don’t like talking about my problems. It is such a relief to write it out.

My definition of beauty? It’s different for me than it is for others. For others, it means for me being healthy and happy. But beauty for myself, sadly, means being thin. On the days I feel thin I feel beautiful and confident, but most of the time I feel insecure and ugly because of how I feel about my body. I know I am pretty thin and tall, but there is this voice inside of me that tells me that I need to lose more weight, and that I’m not good enough.

If I had one wish in this world, it would be to feel comfortable with myself no matter my size. It would be being able to spend one day without exercising or eating a piece of cake without feeling worthless and disgusting after having done so. It would be not caring if others saw me eat, because every time I put something in my mouth, I feel like everyone is watching me and I stop.

What can I do to not feel so jealous? I hate feeling like this, and I want to stop. I took laxatives yesterday, and I don’t know what to do. I really need to find peace. Thank you so much, really, for writing back. I haven’t told anybody about this and it feels so good to open up. Love, musicincar.

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / To be thin..

Hi Musicincar. Okay, let’s work through this together! There’s a lot here. Before we get to the eating issues, I’d like to know a bit more:

Your parents recently got divorced. Tell me your feelings around this currently and leading up to the actual divorce.

You say you feel like you can’t talk to anyone about anything. So are you holding everything in? Are you being silent?

What is your definition of beauty?

What would it be like to love yourself and be comfortable with your body? Can you imagine feeling like that?

Getting sick of not feeling well emotionally and physically – will be a motivation to make things better. You don’t have to suffer.

You will have support here, and please write often, share your feelings, and keep reaching out.

Warmly,

Life Coach Nova

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / To be thin..

Hi Sweetie. I’m so proud of you for being brave and sharing your story! Reaching out is the first step to creating solutions. I understand everything you posted. I will write you a longer post shortly, but wanted to send this to you now — so you know I am here for you.

Check back in a bit for my response. :)

Life Coach Nova

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / To be thin..

Hi.. I have never posted a problem up on the internet and I don’t know how its going to work out, but anyways, here it goes:
I am a 17 year old who has struggled with weight since I was 10. I got into a diet at 11 and lost a lot of weight in a healthy way, but then at 14 I lost some more weight because of a food poisoning illness and loved how thin I felt, so I didn’t want to gain it back. I ate really little, but never completely stopped eating. Then I went on a trip and the obsession went away, but I always hated myself for gaining the weight I had lost all back. My friends started with this obsession too, and I have a sort of rivalry with one of them to see who is thinnest, who eats less, who excercises more, etc. (This is never said out in the open, though). She recently lost a ton of weight, and I am extremely jealous. I am not supericial and I am a good person, but it’s so hard for me to see how she eats the same as me and does even less excercise than I do and now is even thinner just because she used to be unhealty. I feel good about my body now, but that is just today. Tomorrow I can hate it, and try to purge. I have tried it a few times, but only actually vomited once because I stop when it hurts too much. I am afraid that I will become bulimic, because I know the damages it will cause to my body. My parents recently got divorced, and I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about anything. I am sick of thinking about food and being fat and purging all day, and usually cry myself to sleep. It feels like a prison, and I wish I could not care about these things.
I hope someone out there has some good advice, and thank you for listening (or reading, hehe).

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Can my ED lead to other issues.

Hi Lulu. I’m so glad you are reaching out today! I’m proud of you for making a decision to get healthy. It’s important that you recognize food is not entirely the battle. Dealing with the emotions that you have buried is very important to your recovery.

Tell me, when you feel full … what are the words that circulate in your thoughts? Don’t second guess yourself, just write what comes to mind.

After you have done this, identify at least three feelings that are described in your words.

I’ll be here to help you through.

Warmly,

Life Coach Nova

Topic: Eating Disorders & Weight Loss / Can my ED lead to other issues.

I have recently decided that i want to recover from my eating disorder. I am trying to eat healthy. But i am still weighing myself, working out, planning my meals ahead of time, and only eating about 600-800 calories a day. I plan my meals and think i am eating a lot, because i eat every 2-3 hrs. But the foods i am picking are very low calorie. I have lost more weight, but when food is in my stomach, i feel 500lbs. I hate the feeling of being full. It is so much more difficult to recover than i thought it would be.