I can't get over my husband cheating

I have been married for 18 yrs with two kids. My husband who I thought was the perfect husband cheated on me two years ago on a business trip. He hurt me in the worst way. I forgave him but I cant forget. I think about it everyday every night and I get depress and so angry at him and I cant deal with it, I just cry at night. When he wants to go out with his guys friends I dont let him and I keep checking his mails, calls, where he is at all time. I dont trust him anymore and he lies a lot of time. I know this is not healthy and I am starting to think that maybe I should not have forgive him…I should have divorced him. I do love him, he is a great father, good person and he has been good to me but just remembering what he did, I forget about everything else. This made me feel unsecured, have low self stem, dont like myself anymore. I have been honest with him and good to him in our marriage and thats why I am so hurt that I cant take it. I need help…I dont know what to do.

Hi hotjackie. Welcome, and thank you for sharing. It is very understandable that you feel hurt after an affair. Did the two of you ever have counseling following the incident? How did you reconcile? How did you find out? What was your initial reaction?

I hear that you are needing to rebuild trust. What other needs do you have in the relationship that are not being met?

What kept you from walking way before this?

Finally … how would you describe your husband’s position and feelings currently with regards to your relationship?

Let’s start there and we will keep chatting.

Warmly,

Nova