I need advice on my anxiety situation...

Ok hey everyone I’m new here, my name is Nikki. :). I was told to come here because i could possibly find someone who has been or is going through what I am. So I guess here goes my situation… I’m 17 years old, and since I was in the 8th grade I’ve been struggling with this horrible anxiety. I have a fear of throwing up and it holds me back from going ahywhere or doing anything. If I have school the next day, I stay up late and worry and try to find my way out of it. I’ve tried breaki g my hand to just get out of school for one day. I usually end up just staying home and crying all day cause I can’t get out of school the next day. I’ve been falling behind in all of my classes because I just do t go. I’ve been taking zoloft on and off since I was forced to go to the psychiatrist in 8th grade. It made me feel weird so I quit taking it the summer after 8th grade, I also moved in with my real dad because my step dad attacked me. I lived with my dad, anxiety free mind you, until he got pancreatic cancer. He died only 8 months after he was diagnosed. So I was forced back into my mom’s house. Shortly after the anxiety started again. And since then, it hasn’t gotten any better. The doctor had me on 175mg of zoloft, and I started to want to kill myself. I told her this so she switched me to celexa, it’s not helping much more at all. And now on celexa I have increased rage. I kicked a he in the wall because I did t get what I want. And my anxiety is ten times worse on the medicine. And it’s making me develop a sort of manic deppresseveness. I don’t like it, but I don’t know what to do. I think I’m going to have to quit highschool because I just can’t do it anymore. I really need someone elses insight. Thank you.

Hi Nikki. Welcome! As someone who’s struggled with anxiety, I can relate. It is such an awful feeling and I am so sorry that it is causing you so much pain.

You wrote a couple of things that were very important:

“I have a fear of throwing up and it holds me back from going ahywhere or doing anything.” So let’s imagine the worst case scenario, what would it be? What would happen if you did throw up in front of people?

You also wrote that you were anxiety-free when you lived with your dad; what was it about that environment that helped you stay calm?

Now you’re back at your mom’s, what makes it more stressful there?

Finally, what are some things you like to do to relax?

Ok Nikki, I’ll look forward to hearing back from you. Does anyone else have some thoughts or encouragement for Nikki?

Hugs,
Dr. Kathy

ps. Definitely let your MD know about how your anxiety goes up with the medication; that means the medication is not working for you!

Hey thanks for the reply. :). My fear of throwing up has nothing to do with throwing up in front of people. I’m just scared of it all together. It is my worst fear. :(. Like I don’t wanna do it, don’t want people to do it near me, because I’ll have a complete panic attack.

and as for being with my dad as opposed to my mom, I think it’s my step dad that makes everything worse. When we get into fights, I’m always scared he’s going to hit me again, and he makes comments about how I’m crazy and stuff. If I don’t wanna go to school because of my anxiety my mom will like snap out on me. I’m terrified of both of them. And living here is so stressful. Financially, they don’t help out me or my little sister at all. They take my car off me because I can’t make millions of dollars to pay them back for it. I’d just give everything to have my dad back, because things were just stress free, and I was not afraid of him at all.

And as for what I do to relax, I don’t try anything. My therapist is pretty much terrible. So I don’t know what to do. I just stay home from school and sleep.

Thank you and it’s nice to meet you! I’m looking forward to your reply.

Dear Nikkideejay
I’m so sorry to hear about your painful situation.
I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your father.
Feel free to keep sharing with us here.
It always helps have a place where you can speak and be heard.
Here are a few suggestions I’d like you to try.

Stay in touch with your friends and talk to them about the problems you are facing.
Can you find another therapist to see for help?
Can you talk to any of your school counselors?
Can you try to sit down and talk to your mom about your fears and concerns?
I wish I could do more to help you, but know that you are not alone, and that you can always talk to us here.
Coachjohn

Hi Nikki. How are you? I am hoping you had a better week last week; I’d love to catch up!