Work/career issues

Hello, Lifecoach Nova and I have been talking about some issues in my life and I was in bed last night trying to go to sleep and thinking about various aspects of my life. I am a chemo patient right now and should be given a clean bill of health by the summer and will start job hunting again. So I was thinking about my dream life and all the things I want to accomplish and all of my goals come back to needing money. I am living with my parents at this time until I get stronger. I haven’t had the most positive attitude about work for most of my life. I used to think I would like to be a writer or a singer and am decent at both. I majored in music and english in college but changed majors first to theatre, but mostly just to get out of myself and overcome some shyness, then to psychology, but with so much mental illness in my family it was too much, then to religious studies mainly because when all else fails I am still a Christian and thought it couldn’t hurt. Plus I was not in a good place in college, I just wanted to be done and I wanted something that said I was a college graduate. So, I graduated with a major in Religious Studies, Minor in Psychology and had a handful of temp positions as a receptionist but I always resented work because I wanted to be a stay at home wife and mother, at least I always thought that was my true calling. Also I had severe social anxiety disorder so going to work was painful as well. Well I am not married and I can’t have kids now because of the cancer and I find my attitudes are slowly changing. I want a career I can be proud of and of course I need an income to have any kind of life. I want to settle the career question once and for all. I mean, I know people often have more than one career over the course of their lives, but what I mean is for now I want to know what I want to do and what I would be good at and fight for the chance to do it. These are the things I know for sure:
I want a salaried position. That is, I am not in a good place right now to decide to write my first novel or try to make it in the recording industry or anything that is insecure, (opening my own business etc)I need a steady reliable paycheck, at least as reliable as it can be in this economy.

I exhausted financial aid in school so going back for any higher education is not practical right now. I am not ruling it out at a future date but I just am not in a good place right now to do that.
My personality and handicaps are such that I cannot handle a high pressure job. I worked at H&R block for a couple weeks and had to deal with a constantly ringing phone customers in my face and on my feet constantly. I just don’t think I was made to deal with that kind of preasure. My brain shuts down or I weep uncontrolably and my health suffered as my blood pressure went through the roof. Maybe I won’t always be like this but for now, I need a job that allows me to work in a manner that I don’t get so stressed out.
Well this is at least my basis to get started with. Salary is also an issue. I want something that has at least the potential to have salary growth. I am not out to be rich by any means but I would like to be comfortably middle class at least. Basically, as I have looked at what is out there, if you arent a doctor lawyer teacher nurse or any of the specialized fields like that, in my town you do retail, clerical or work for the county in some fashion.
County jobs I am considering but don’t feel anything like yay that is what I want to do are case worker (can be anything from mental health to welfare to working in the shelters)jr Librarian (I do love books) or I can stay with clerical and become an admin asisstant but the money is pretty static and unless I went back to school and did the paralegal option I would be stuck under 30K a year. Or be a substitute teacher but I really wonder if I have the patience to work with kids. I am not sure, I enjoy them singly but I am just not sure.
Anyway any thoughts or resources or things I should consider would be vastly appreciated. I recognize I might need to look for a job and find a career later but nothing is desperate yet but I am hoping to be employed at something by the fall.

Hi Adelissa. Thank you for your post. Many people struggle to find the perfect career for them. I can see that you’ve been giving this a lot of thought, and it’s good that you are open minded.

For me, an ideal job is one you’d love to do even if you didn’t get paid. “If you love your job you never go to work a day in your life.”

So you identified some areas that you really do enjoy: Books, Music, Singing. What else comes to mind that you really feel alive being around?

It’s wonderful you finished your BA and have that done! Congratulations. Your education is valuable and no one can take it away from you.

I think it’s a good idea to determine what you are passionate about in life and head in that direction. Just getting your foot in the door with a starting job is a good building block for your potential career.

If you had no restrictions, no anxieties, no worries … what would be your ideal job?

Looking forward to hearing back.

Warmly,

Nova

For me, it is easier to think of what I don’t want to do than what I do want, like I want to work with my mind and not physically. I do love clerical work and feel that preparing documents and publications to be a real strength of mine. I like taking data and turning it into something beautiful. However, while I was a receptionist I discovered that no job is going to feel really fulfilling unless I feel I am helping others. I need a sense that lives are being changed by what I do. That doesn’t have to be dramatic, it can be as simple as passing on a smile or helping someone find something. I also have considered the medical profession like a medical assistant, but I am not sure if that is the position for me, also I would have to go back to school at least for a few months. My perfect position would be in an office with clerical duties, but with one on one contact with people helping them in some capacity. I need a job where I have balance with independent work and working with others. I don’t do well if it is either one or the other. I am thinking being a case worker might be a good option but I have heard some bad things about the position and it makes me hesitant. Mostly, I have heard it is an emotionally draining position and I am a little fragile in that area right now. Still, I don’t necessarily want to take other people’s word for it. I do know I don’t want to do retail and I don’t like the idea of teaching and I want to stay in my home town so I kind of have to consider what is actually here and I was told the county would look favorably on my degree as there are a shortage of people applying with degrees. I can either go into the social work side of things or the mental health side of things. In the past I just couldn’t deal with mental illness because it hit too close to home, I am not sure that would be as much of a problem for me now. I can leave the client at the office in a way I can’t leave my family members or myself, so that makes it a little easier. It is hard not to get into I will do anything mode because an income would be so helpful now, but I want a career. I have only had jobs up to this point. I have done nothing that lasted longer than 6 months and I really need some stability in my life. Also what I want in a job is I don’t want to work with the public in the way I have done in the past. Clients are different than people walking in the door in your face being rude and having to be everyone to everybody. I really do not respond well to pressure as I mentioned before. However I feel good about people one on one. Also, I don’t know why I ended up getting receptionist jobs as I absolutely hate the telephone. I prefer people in person actually. There is something about a phone ringing off the hook that presses my anxiety buttons. Additionally, I want a typical 8-5 type of job that doesn’t request overtime as I am the type who could easily become a workaholic if I am not careful. I need to have clear cut boundaries between work and home. I discovered in that last high pressure job I was talking about that I was asked to skip lunch repeatedly and that made a stressful day that much worse.
Anyway, I am going to see what else the county offers and keep my eyes open for what is out there, but I want to stop being so ambivalent and be more decisive as in this is a job I would be good at and I am going for it.

after rereading your post I realize I didn’t answer your question directly. Things I would enjoy doing even if I wasn’t paid
Reading and editing books
typing anything I really love to type and am moderately fast (approx 65wpm)
organizing data (filing, putting things into spreadsheets)
talking to people one on one
cooking
I enjoy solving problems I don’t like loose ends
I enjoy learning new skills, facts, and ideas
I actually enjoy doing some things others might call monotonous like at one job I had to put packets together (take page 1-5 and staple) for like 500 packets (this was a weekly job) and I loved it!
I like concrete jobs. I get nervous if I have to figure something out on my own that isn’t self explanatory. However, at the longest job I held, I discovered as I learned on the job, I was more comfortable being left to figure out things as I was confident in my ability to do my tasks there.
I do think a large part of the problem is I have never had a full time permanent job. The jobs I had all had the expectation to be a temp job. So it is hard to ever really get comfortable at a temp job.
Also I find depending how I am feeling I score differently on the what color is your parachute. When I am feeling very good and positive I am more likely to fall into the social services area, when I am having more problems with my mental health, depression anxiety etc, I fall more into clerical work. I think it is because when I am emotionally drained I don’t want to work around people. However, I am going to the dr to get screened and will get back on meds and deal with that proactively first and get stable before I go back to work.
I have a lot of confidence issues when it comes to work. I can remember studying for tests and being very confident because I knew the material. I don’t have that sense when it comes to jobs, maybe because of my relatively short work experience. I always feel a little unsure when I read a job discription and wonder can I really do this job? will I be good at it? etc. I do know that finding a job I am good at and like will go a long way to becoming the person I want to be. I think it would spur me on to be more confident in other aspects of my life. I do think at this point the librarian position sounds like the most like me. I feel at home among books and really think I would enjoy that. I don’t have the education to be a full fledged librarian but there is a position for anyone with a bachelors and if it worked out I could go back to school for my masters.

Hi Adelissa. You are doing a good job of narrowing down your interests. One thought that crossed my mind as I read you post was for you to consider becoming a court reporter. It’s interested, pretty low intensity, and could be a good fit. It’s also relatively easy to get into. You might also be a natural fit at medical billing or at a position with the USPS. Spend a little time researching these ideas and let me know what you think!

Warmly,
Dr. Kathy