i just dont know anymore what to do next

hi me and my bouyfreind havent been getting along lately it feels hes trying to find all my faults and pick on me i went to the shop the other day and he called and said were am i so i said to him iwas nearlly done and wont be long as i got home he shouted at me and then started talking things out the fridge and said what is this he doesnt know whats going on in the house anymore and has been ignoring me every time i try and speak to him he doesnt want to talk he even said to me he wants to speak to my ex husband and i asked him why he just said he wants to find out sumthing i dont know what to think i feel as if im just the maid with benifites please help me tp understand

Dear Pamela
How long have you been with your BF?
Let’s start there and try to help you. Has he always been like this or is this new behavior?
Thanks
Coachjohn

HI, Pamela,

I find your boyfriend’s behavior very concerning. Domestic violence begins with the need of the abuser to control. Do not let him take control over you. You have the right to go where you want, when you want and you are not accountable to him.

His behavior is a very loud warning sign. I tell you from experience that they only get worse. If this behavior continues, you need to get out of this relationship.

Please continue to talk to us so that we can help you. But, KEEP YOUR POWER!!

Caoch Edie

Hi Pam. Thanks for your note, welcome to FBN. In reading your post, I wondered most about your BF asking questions about your ex-husband. I wonder if he feels insecure and worries that you might be leaving him, which could explain why he would be wondering where you are, what you are doing, and trying to control you. What do you think?

I think Coach Edie is wise to warn you that trying to control someone is often a precursor to abuse, so it’s something to be on the look out for. This thinking makes Coach John’s question really relevant too….if this is a new behavior, I’d wonder what changed to cause him to act in this new way.

We’ll be thinking of you.

Warmly,
Dr. K