How are you feeling about your relationships?

Earlier I mentioned that your relationships, particularly the one you have with your spouse or partner, make the single greatest difference in how you feel about yourself. The reason for this is that we are biologically engineered to seek closeness and safety from another person. If you don’t feel as loved as you’d like to, there are a couple of things you can do. First, ask for what you want. Do you want more time, more help, or more attention? Let your loved one know. Second, think about what you can do to bring your partner closer to you. Be more tender, more loving, and more appreciative for the things your loved on does right. Third, look for a negative cycle in your relationship and work to change it. A negative cycle exists when one person is upset at the other, reacts by becoming angry or hostile, and this pushes the other person away. When the other person withdraws, this makes the angry partner angrier and the cycle spirals down. It’s very common to have a negative cycle in a relationship; the trick is to be on the look-out for it and when you find yourself cycling down, do something different, like asking for what you need.

I have noticed that when I have asked myself what it is that I WANT it makes things even clearer in my head, almost without asking it it was not the focus or window into why I wasnt happy.
I , without a doubt love my souse, but I wasnt focused on what would really make me happy and so I let the relationship get confused and complicated. Both of which made me twice as unhappy.
The more negative I became the more negative things I saw. It made me more aware of wha I didnt like and it became almost impossibl to see what I loved so much and what did make me happy.
Once I honestly looked and focused on what would make me happy and what exactly I wanted in the relationship, I realized I could be more open and share the thoughts with my partner. Once I shared than things began to get better and I saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
I am in no way saying that EVERYTHING is just awesome now, and that it is not really a part of my nature to think about what I want versus wat the other person wants, but I can say that it is a worthwhile process.

I ACTUALLY SEEM TO ALWAYS STRESS OR SEEM UPSET {I’M NOT MYSELF} After a breakup or I at least just don’t want to be seen I will make everyone go away and it just makes me mad!

Hi Bananf. Welcome to Feel Better Network. Have you recently been through a breakup? How is it that you push people away? Do you think you may push others away as a form of protection?

We are here for you!

Warmly,

Nova