toxic relationship and a lot of underlying issues out. out of ideas out of hope

I’ve been battling depression for aproximately 7 years but it has gotten progresively worse in the last 4 years I’ve been with my fiance. I’m very insecure and my fiance is a very attractive man who made the mistake of cheating on me once in the past and I’ve attempted to forgive him but I don’t think it’s possible for me to actually forgive him. its been 3 years since he cheated on me but girls flirt with him and try to hookup with him constantly and its starting to take a huge toll on me I love my fiance more then anything but I think he’s kind of a flirt and gives women the wrong idea even though we are from a small town and everyone knows we are together. everytime I see or hear about another woman flirting with him I get really angry and upset I start to cry and shake uncontrolibly I need some advice on either how to split from my toxic relationship and not feel so upset or I need advice on how to deal with my anger cause its getting so out of control that sometimes I just don’t want to live cause I’m so inscure and angry and terrified of being alone. I know when you read this your going to realize I have a lot of underlying issues and emotions that i haven’t learned how to deal with and honestly I don’t know where to start I’ve had 3 councelors but none of them have helped I running out of ideas and hope

Hey there, I am very sorry for your current situation and I myself am working through the same type of problem. I am a married man and my wife about 3 years ago had something with another man and I have had a very hard time being able to truly forgive her and get past it. The hard truth that I have realized is that that moment will always be with you, even if it is just in the back of your mind. Secondly, our special people maybe flirts, but they may not be doing it on purpose. My wife has told me several times if I catch her flirting to just stop her because she does not always realize that she is doing it. Talk with him and really let him know how much it is hurting you and if cares about you then he will work on being better about it. Third, the best thing to do is to stop living in the past and try looking forward to positive things in the future, and even though the situation with him cheating might stay with you, it will not be in the front of you mind, better and happier things will be there. I have felt all of those depressing, angering, and just mad thoughts and feelings, but you have to take the first step to pull yourself away and just really do you best to try and move forward. I hope this helps you in anyway