it's just too much....

my girlfriend and i have been together for 5 years now. we’ve been happy with little bumps here and there. we both graduated bs architecture and had to take the licensure examinations 2 months ago. 4 months prior to that, we started studying for the exams. that meant we had very limited time for each other. we both passed the exams and we’re both architects now.

all of a sudden, on day she said she’s fallen for another guy at work. she said i wasn’t there for her during the review months.they’ve been dating.. she wan’t there for me neither. we were busy studying…

now it’s tearing me apart… to know that the woman i loved has been in the arms of another man… she said she loves me but i had to give her time to let him go. it’s as if i’m sharing her with the guy! i’ve never been hurt this much and i think it’s driving me insane…. i can’t even share my problem to friends. i’m too ashamed of this mess… lately during my spare time, i buy her shoes, jewelry, and stuff. i take every opportunity to be with her. just to feel her love again… we’d be smiling but still, i can’t help but feel she’s too distant.

i’m really messed up right now. i can’t work, can’t eat, can’t sleep. sometimes i breaqk into tears in the middle of the night. i’ve researched the formula for a home made hydrogen sulfide gas in case i can’t take it anymore. i have the ingredients at home. i’m afraid everyday that passes brings me closer to using it… i know it’s the easy way out but the pain is just too damn much for me.

i don’t know if anyone can really help me right now. i’m just looking for someone to hear me out. i just can’t believe that my joy in finally passing the the board exams and landing a dream job could be overshadowed by so much pain and suffering. and to top it off, she doesn’t really seem to care…

Hi Hupao. I am so sorry to hear you are in so much pain. It is terribly painful when the person we love leaves, I am really sorry you’re going through this right now. But hang in there, it does get better. :(

I would like you to see our post on how to get help if you’re suicidal. The feelings you’re having right now will pass, so I want you to fight back with all of your strength. If you feel like you can’t and that you want to do something to hurt yourself, stop immediately and call 911.

Tell me a little bit more about yourself. You like architecture, what else?

Hugs,
Dr. K

im a musician and a visual artist too. but i’m not even in the mood to do thosethings anymore.. i just want my girl back…

Hi hupao. Welcome to FBN. I am so glad you are reaching out.

I hear how hurt you are and how much heartache you are enduring. We are here for you. Talking it out is good. Isolation will make depression worse, so keep breaking isolation by reaching out. It stood out to me that you stated you can’t talk to others because of shame and embarrassment. Push any feelings of shame aside. You need your friends now, you need support. We will be here also to support you.

It sounds like her feelings really caught you off guard, pulled the rug out from under you. You were thinking you were both on the same track focusing on your exams, and yet she was seeking attention else where. So, where is she at now? Does she want to work on things?

Looking forward to hearing back.

Warmly,

Nova