Feeling like a failure

I’ve been having a lot of problems with starting fresh with school this year. Last semester, I had a very bad experience. I gave up hope as far as my classes went, I wasn’t asked to come back for my job because of my absenses and tardies. I started taking medicine to help me get feeling back and in hopes of starting to care about my life but that just made me sleep more and miss more. I failed most of my classes due to absenses and just basically made lots of mistakes. My anxiety about being on campus was too much to deal with. I thought in the fall things would get better. I started dating someone at the end of the year and through the summer who worked with me on campus, so I thought that would help since I didn’t have any friends there. He makes me have a lot of fun so I thought I was back. In high school I got great grades, was involved in school, and had a pretty nice group of friends. They probably wouldn’t even know me now. My boyfriend is living that way now. He’s an honor student, he has a million friends, goes to parties all the time, and has been working at the library for 3 years. We’re really close now and I pretty much tell him everything. I ‘ve noticed lately though that since school has started I’ve been unbelievably depressed. When we talk I’m crying about my roommate or not wanting to be on campus because I feel like such an outsider or I’m saying how much I wish I could erase what happened last semester. I regret telling him this though because although I know he’d never say anything to make me feel this way, I feel extremely incompetent. I feel like his girl friends are probably so much smarter and so much more social. I feel like I drag him down. I don’t even know why he’s with me because I just feel like such a failure

Hi cree2013. I’m so glad you are reaching out. I hear depression in your words, and pain, and regret. It sounds like you’ve been seeking help … what have you tried to feel better? Do you see someone in person for counseling?

Going away to school is a big adjustment. Are you close to your family? Does anyone close to you know how you are really feeling?

I’m looking forward to hearing back.

I’m listening, and I care.

Warmly,

Nova